Look at that proud Daddy, It had only been a couple hours since Rohan had come into the world and Ralph was already hogging him. I was STILL hooked up to everything, stank, and couldn't move. But watching these two had made the past 17 hours of labour and emergency c-section seem like nothing.
The First Nappy Change
Because I was confined to the bed it was up to Daddy to perform the first nappy change. The midwife was nice enough to take over and "show" Ralph what to do, so we got the second nappy change instead. Wasn't what I wanted but I was too tired to complain. Ralph didn't seem to mind as he was a little nervous as to be expected, but he had it in the bag, it was mummy who put on the nappy wrong way round two days later from sleep deprivation.
The First Night
The first night was hard without Ralph, watching him leave that evening made me feel empty. I didn't want to be alone with these strangers coming in and out of the room fussing about how Rohan needed to eat, when he'd JUST come off the breast. I was sore, tired, and Rohan was attached to me every second of every minute of every hour. Until one midwife swooned in to the room in the middle of the night, took Rohan off my chest without asking and proceeded to leave the room. "Excuse me, where are you going?" I managed to say before she got completely out of the door. "I'll take him so you can get some sleep" I burst out crying, she just took my baby from me! It was meant to be helpful, but I couldn't bare him not being in eyesight for more than two seconds at a time, and that's only because I had to blink. He'd been crying for almost two hours straight before she came in, the other women in the ward were taking it surprisingly well and it didn't seem to bother them even though I kept apologizing. Their baby's made no noise the whole time I was there, theirs slept, mine on the other hand, wanted constant touching, wouldn't sleep unless he was on me, and didn't like anyone else holding him either. The midwife came back in after an hour and made me express milk. I'd sat there listening to him cry in the hallway the whole time. "Are you sure that will be enough?" I'd managed almost an ounce of colostrum, she expressed that this was more than enough as newborns belly's are so tiny it should fill him right up, WRONG! Within 30 minutes she came back.
"I can't believe it, your son is still hungry" She brought him back to me and placed him on my chest, I was sore, tearful and angry. He stopped crying once he was placed on me, even though he wasn't actually eating anything. Then I realized it was just for comfort, he wasn't hungry at all, he was just needy!
That's when I knew the next day what I was going to do.
The Dummy
It wasn't until 3 O'clock the next day Ralph was able to come back, I sat and watched the clock aching for 3 to arrive. I'd had my first shower around 9 that morning, it was also the first time I'd walked since labour. It felt like I'd been beaten from the inside then been run over with a train. 3 came and went, so when Ralph finally arrived with my father around 4 I was so happy. I told them both before they left that there was no way I was doing another night without a dummy. When they came back later on that evening they had brought the infamous mute button. I burst out crying, I'd done a lot of this in secret trying to hide it from the other mums. I don't know why? Looking back on it, it was just the hormones. But when he actually took the dummy I was both relieved and upset at the same time, one because it managed to get him to sleep without having to be on me and the other because he actually needed it. But again I look back on that now and I think, so what? Some mums wished their baby's had taken a dummy.
Homecoming
That night I didn't sleep much at all, I wanted so bad to have gone home with everyone that evening. I was determined to somehow make them let me go home earlier than they had told me. I couldn't spend another night here. I wanted my bed, my house, familiar smells, people I loved. None of that was in this solitary ward. I prayed all night that I would be allowed to leave the next day. The morning came strangely fast, I watched as everyone went to take their showers, I ate breakfast, changed Rohan, then a nurse came in and asked to my amazement. "Do you want to go home today?" I was shocked? I looked up to the ceiling and said "yes!" She said that going home could be arranged as I would be the only one discharged today. So I should be allowed to go by 1pm. I was overjoyed!
Rohan had to have some checks before we left, my favourite and I think his, being the hearing test. He looked so cute with the enormous head phones on his ears. They played clicking noises and monitored his brain response. It was obvious he could hear it each time as when one side clicked his eyes would move towards the sound to look for it. This made me laugh and I was happy that even though it was a short period of time he'd stopped crying. When it came to the other tests though he screamed for them all, stiffened up when anyone touched him that he didn't "know" and after awhile would go a funny colour and get patches on his skin from getting worked up. The midwife doing the tests freaked out, she was worried that something was wrong with him and that we couldn't be discharged today as the pediatrician needed to see him and run some tests first. I sighed, reassured her that he only goes that colour when he's screaming but she didn't believe me. I understood that they needed to make sure, and I'd rather they run tests and be wrong than discharge me and be right so I sat there and starred at Rohan who was making sniffle sounds while we cuddled.
It wasn't until 3 O'clock the next day Ralph was able to come back, I sat and watched the clock aching for 3 to arrive. I'd had my first shower around 9 that morning, it was also the first time I'd walked since labour. It felt like I'd been beaten from the inside then been run over with a train. 3 came and went, so when Ralph finally arrived with my father around 4 I was so happy. I told them both before they left that there was no way I was doing another night without a dummy. When they came back later on that evening they had brought the infamous mute button. I burst out crying, I'd done a lot of this in secret trying to hide it from the other mums. I don't know why? Looking back on it, it was just the hormones. But when he actually took the dummy I was both relieved and upset at the same time, one because it managed to get him to sleep without having to be on me and the other because he actually needed it. But again I look back on that now and I think, so what? Some mums wished their baby's had taken a dummy.
That night I didn't sleep much at all, I wanted so bad to have gone home with everyone that evening. I was determined to somehow make them let me go home earlier than they had told me. I couldn't spend another night here. I wanted my bed, my house, familiar smells, people I loved. None of that was in this solitary ward. I prayed all night that I would be allowed to leave the next day. The morning came strangely fast, I watched as everyone went to take their showers, I ate breakfast, changed Rohan, then a nurse came in and asked to my amazement. "Do you want to go home today?" I was shocked? I looked up to the ceiling and said "yes!" She said that going home could be arranged as I would be the only one discharged today. So I should be allowed to go by 1pm. I was overjoyed!
Rohan had to have some checks before we left, my favourite and I think his, being the hearing test. He looked so cute with the enormous head phones on his ears. They played clicking noises and monitored his brain response. It was obvious he could hear it each time as when one side clicked his eyes would move towards the sound to look for it. This made me laugh and I was happy that even though it was a short period of time he'd stopped crying. When it came to the other tests though he screamed for them all, stiffened up when anyone touched him that he didn't "know" and after awhile would go a funny colour and get patches on his skin from getting worked up. The midwife doing the tests freaked out, she was worried that something was wrong with him and that we couldn't be discharged today as the pediatrician needed to see him and run some tests first. I sighed, reassured her that he only goes that colour when he's screaming but she didn't believe me. I understood that they needed to make sure, and I'd rather they run tests and be wrong than discharge me and be right so I sat there and starred at Rohan who was making sniffle sounds while we cuddled.
When Ralph and my parents arrived one of the midwives turned and told them that they couldn't be here, needed to leave and to get out of the ward right now. I was shocked with her change in attitude, she had actually been one of the nicer midwives so I was upset when this unfolded in front of my eyes. My parents left the ward, only to make a complaint as they weren't going to stay anyway, they had been helping Ralph bring Rohans stuff to be discharged.
It wasn't until after 3pm were we discharged as the pediatrician had to see Rohan to reassure the midwife who had run the tests and thought something was wrong with with him. The pediatrician checked Rohan over and proceeded to tell us there was nothing wrong with him and he was perfectly fine to go home. I was already packed and ready, we'd been ready for hours! My parents came back in and helped carry our stuff out, Rohan looked so cute in his car seat. We were finally on our way home.
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